i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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