look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
