just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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