Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i think im in europe. pls send help
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
tell me about the eggs
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