it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
