Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
