We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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