Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
