im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
