she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
