is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
