susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize