Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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