I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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