puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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