My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
