I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
