Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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