nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
