So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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