Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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