It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize