I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
