you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
