Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
