just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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