Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
