do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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