I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
