I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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