Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
