so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
