It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
