Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
