Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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