It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
