as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
