but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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