This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize