glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize