Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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