do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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