call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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