..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
