Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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