I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
