I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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