I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
