Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize