no, he came in my armpit
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
