dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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