we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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