apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
