the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
