Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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