I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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