how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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