Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
